An In-Between Place

We met long ago in an in between place.  Not as adults but as children: Peter and Wendy, you and I! And here I am, as I cry, writing this poem…It was an in between place of love and hate: a safety place, where only children can meet and love each other safely. A secret place where they can hold hands, and dance with each other to music, and laugh, and cuddle, and one can say to the other quietly and gently, ever so softly “I love you”, with a whisper…A place where butterfly’s fly and dance in the sunlight… dancing in between the lights rays…That’s where we would meet you and I! We would have our moments, and we would meet there, and smile and laugh, and have tender kisses and, sometimes make love…You and I meeting in between the sunlight’s rays… Just you and me

Empty ****

God...
this empty pit 
of **** ****
I sit 
in it 
and wallow 
extreme
an end 
to an end
here do I spend 
eternity
it seemed 
this I say
for this I pay
with my soul
I hate I hate 
then swallow 
it whole!
This loneliness
I now see...
is not eternity
but more 
a temporary thing
something that crawls
under my skin
while within
I search for serenity

I Couldn't See Her Face

I couldn't see her face.. after so many months...of being apart from each other.. I couldn't see her face, her hair how kinky and curly it got after wet, how beautifully blond it was, her eyes so blue that shone so brightly in any light, I couldn't see her face,... the memories of us sitting on the porch laughing, joking, playing phone games together. Her looking at me, me looking at her. The curves of her aging body...The wrinkles of her aging face...These things that i just could not get over or through or see through or accept really.... How soft her skin was right near her armpits and how I used to caress it before we'd make love. The fart jokes and the laughter...laughing so hard, tears streaming down my cheeks...I couldn't see her face until this morning when the memories came flooding back into my mind like a beautiful sunrise, a flood of pain and tears cascading down my cheeks. Like waterfalls, cleansing away what seemed like years of hurt between her and I...There are five stages of grief this lady told me the other day...It seems like there are a lot more than that...a lot more.

Enough

Enough oh God quench this enough within me! This enough... Like a dustbowl, tinder, tumbleweed, drifting by inside my soul as if it could light on fire. I wish it could, then I would be a light unto the world. But I am not. I am barely a spark of flame; a glimpse of light hidden behind a curtain hiding other things too. The light gives way to only that which wishes to reveal itself. Memories fade away in its presence. They come into fruition. Like pieces of a puzzle being put back together. When will it be enough I say? We are all pieces of a puzzle being put back together. Some more complex than others. Stop trying to put yourself back together! The pieces are better in the Makers hands.​

Her game

Playing this game is so shallow with a depth I'm concerned with
a twelve year romance piercing my heart. playing God
Dying over and over, always a second chance, eternal,
forever, beautiful, suns-capes land effervescent upon my eyes, such beauty vibrant, pix-elated, a virtual reality within my reality 
it only exists when I am not lost in her. I loose my self ever so deeply 
she gently whispers in my ears soft lullaby's of returning daily to her arms strong embrace. I fight with dark fiery demons within my world competing for her attention with the others who lust for her praise. There is a never ending story within these pages..there's always another expansion to it all.

Lonleyness

Deep deep 
down inside
I hide 
feeling a pain 
that only One 
may know
but this does go 
to show 
how much I know 
about what I am truly feeling.
My emotions obscure 
nothing is pure 
just yet I believe. 

Can i have a restart 
and take a part 
in my own upbringing?

can I cry this away? 
the tears that sway 
the stinging in my heart?
No...
I got to wait 
for it
...these emotions to sit
still enough 
for me to feel
and let this heart 
of mine heal

...from the past of memories ill
that haunt me while awake 
for me to take
control of
and make
my life a mess...

Blue Curtains

My eyes weigh heavily upon me
my heart laden with sin
sunlight peaking 
off the tip of a mountain
sleep remembers me 
and follows my shadow
cascading long and elegant 
across corners of the wall
a silhouette of slumber
follows me 
A beckoning embrace 
I fall into 
my eyes weigh heavily upon me 
and droop like dark blue curtains
covering my windows
as the sun ever so slowly 
inches back 
under the sheets of hilltops
As I am the traveler 
of a dreamscape

My Mother's Hands

She comes and visits me during the week
Brings coffee
She smiles her smile and gives me a hug
I hug back
Words that are shared 
With an open heart
For years mended 
That were torn apart

And always there’s a prayer
I hold her hands…

There’s simple warmth to it all
Feelings hence gone by
But I try
And stay present

I see how similar our hands are
And that one finger 
She slammed in the car

I played with her hands
I remember 
In church as a little boy
Something like a toy
To keep my mind at ease

A mommy please!
A peace of mind!
A quiet love

Her hands at ease…

Fruit Orgasmic Shape

fruit orgasmic shape
her butt apple turnover
her breasts cantaloupes
belly button nectar basin 
trickling down slowly sweet
her nipple ripe grape
strawberry red lips
God made this sweet
a pleasure sticky candy
a wet dream
a subconscious orgasmic
taste of divinity

Sitting Here

Wanting to write 
but here I sit tight
waiting for purpose 
and direction
some sort of reflection 
of myself
an inflection 
of holy health 
or in this case 
my mood 
as it is quite tense
sort of sitting here 
in suspense
writing this thing 
letting out moans 
of sorrow
in a pixelated form
groans onto a blue screen
a scream of wanting more
I abhor uncertainty 
cruel it is certainly
a wisp of smoke 
a darkness I choke on
A list of fears I react to
it hears this all in fact too
At least that's what I think
and believe 
in my head 
I leave tracks 
to be followed 
by demons undead 
inside my head
I dread 
Uncertainty...

This Girl I Barely Know

There is this girl I know

And her hair does flow

Down her back (beautifully)

 

She learned of me

After a free

Attempt to get her attention

 

We might one day meet

But maybe it’s safer we greet

Each other likewise every day

 

This girl is smart

And knows a lot about art

It’s intimidating you see

 

She reads much

And so are such

The ways in which she learns

 

She’s a Persian girl too

New to the red, white, and blue

Living life freely

 

I yearn for her mails

Which seem slow as snails

At times when I’m not busy

 

It hasn’t been that long

Since I have heard her song

But I get to every day!

 

Like the flame of a candle

I’m trying to get a handle

On my feelings about this

 

Such things are but strife

That everyone deals with in life

But to me they seem new

 

I will try and convey

What I want to say

In this poem of sorts

 

It is slow and unsteady

This rhyme I make ready

For this girl I barely know

 

I give it to her with an open mind

And hopefully I will find

She will like it

 

Not just like it, but maybe smile

A little…and beguile

My sense of dread

 

For with this…

I write with my heart

And leave a little part

Of it here for you

If you enjoyed my poetry please head over to Terry Hershey Sabbath Moment to check out the amazing poetry he has at the end of each blog. Written by very talented readers of Terry Hershey Sabbath Moment and also famous ones.