Had a major breakthrough today.
Updated: Oct 23, 2020
Had a major breakthrough today. I talked with my friend Tracy about some stuff from my past that jogged some stuff that made a lot of sense to me (I've talked to 4 people already about this today to I am beat talking about it already) which brought up some mind expanding aha moments within me! I felt a sense of freedom and later wrote it down - then excitement - then total overwhelming fear! I was going to fall apart because of the feelings present behind it all. Then a sense of depression followed and then tears, a LOT of tears. I had to call Kaiser crisis hotline to talk with a trained therapist to get perspective and feel a bit safer within myself on what was going on. I felt so depleted afterward. There was a lot of grieving going on. It really started after watching Interstellar the movie. Don't ask me why. Tears started flowing a ton of them at the end when he saw his daughter after 110 years or so it had been. They stopped soon after I took a hot shower and I guess got my mind off of the feelings involved. Strange how that works I guess? I have therapy Friday of which I will read what I wrote down to her and hopefully get some closure and more meaning out of what happened. God is my guide. Goodnight!